My Long History in Kink

The running list....after all, since I am the author of this blog I thought I should lay down my history in kink. Since 2015 I continue to also play privately and attend private parties. So here's the history so far:

• Center for Sex Positive Culture (CSPC), Seattle 1999 to 2015 
• Demo Top, Sensation City, Seduction Halloween Party, Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, Seattle 2014
• Demo Top, Sensation City, Seattle Erotic Art Festival, Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, Seattle 2014
• Demo Top, Try It You'll Like It, for two and a half years, a tasting event of all sorts of bdsm play, held by and at Center for Sex Positive Culture, Seattle, WA
• Paradise, week long bdsm event at The Longhouse, Redmond, WA, put on Center of Sex Positive Culture
• Ran private play parties in my five-bdrm house in Bellevue, WA
• Kinkfest events and classes, Portland, OR
• Play parties in WA, Idaho, Oregon, Vancouver - BC Canada, North Carolina and Colorado
• Triskeli Guild house parties, Whatcom County, WA
• National Leather Association Living in Leather III 1998, Seattle
• National Leather Association Living in Leather V 1990, Portland, OR, including the ORGASM play party (ORegon Gay Activist SM)
• National Leather Association May Day classes and play parties, including play party at the original Vertical Club (climbing club) location off Elliott Ave, Seattle
• National Leather Association May Day event, Masonic Temple, 1992, Seattle
• National Leather Association Living in Leather XI 1996, Portland, OR
• National Leather Association Living in Leather XV 2000, SeaTac, WA
• National Leather Association Mr & Mrs. Leather event, Seattle and in Portland, OR
• Spokane Power Exchange, board member, Spokane, WA
• SPARC, bdsm member organization setup similar to CSPC in Seattle, I helped put this together, Pasco, WA servicing the Tri-Cities area. 
• Five River Energy Exchange, Tri-Cities, WA
• Hoedown play venue, Richland, WA 
• La Fortress, play parties event venue, NC
• Vanishing Point Art Gallery play parties, Other Side, Vancouver BC Canada
• The Green Barn, play parties, Other Side, Vancouver BC Canada
• Purgatory, play venue, Other Side, Vancouver BC Canada
• Mack McKinnion events, NLA-BC, Vancouver BC Canada
• Metro Vancouver Kink play events, Capri Hall, Vancouver BC Canada
• Braven Manor, Lord Braven home parties, Burnaby BC Canada
• Denver Sanctuary play parties, Colorado
• Bunches of munches in bunches of cities
• SSMUT: Seattle's Sado-Masochism Unabashed Talk, Seattle
• Seattle Kink Information Network (SKIN), bdsm classes, Learning Center, Seattle
• Table of Ruthless Conversation (TORC), in-depth discussion group, held in the basement of Beyond the Edge Cafe, Captiol Hill in Seattle
• Beyond the Edge Cafe, play parties in the basement and eats at street level, 1995-1999, Seattle
• Kline Mansion play party, Capitol Hill in Seattle
• C-Space, 1989-1995, classes, also taught a 2-day class on M/s Lifestyle Dynamics, Seattle
• Fetish BDSM Bars in Seattle: The Vogue, and also at The Catwalk, both in Seattle
• Taught M/s Dynamics class at CSPC, Seattle
• Taught Mindgames class in Tri-Cities WA
• Taught Flogging Techniques class at Metro Vancouver Kink, Capri Hall, Vancouver BC Canada
• Kinky Couples weekend events at New Horizon Manor, Lynnwood, WA
• Rose n' Thorn Society, Maledom/female-slave club, Lake Forest Park, WA
• The Chateau, an organization that provided experiences with dominants, San Francisco, CA
• The Catacombs, a very private membership only club, San Francisco, CA
• Over 5 years in the 70's bottoming to female dominatrixes, SF Bay Area, CA to learn the ropes of play and insertion of the mindset

128 Rules for the female slave (official)

I've dropped the separate blog of the rules and put them here. Enjoy. Be safe. You're responsible for using these - NOT me. 

In 1992 I had written 77 rules. In 1996 I expanded them to 128. They were first posted on the Internet on Enchantress's Secret Garden as "128 Basic slave Rules" (Enchantress's Secret Garden is long gone off the net, but I included one from the Wayback Machine dated 1999). I also wrote an expanded version that was published in the fetish publication "Secret Magazine" in issues 14 and 15. 

If you wish to use the document on your website or in a publication, in whole or in part, in its original relationship dynamic or modified to fit another dynamic, you'll need email me at 128rules@gmail.com to gain permission. After gaining permission you'll need to include the following on your website or in your publication: "Copyright 1992 by Johnathan Kay. The current official site for this document can be found at http://kink-notes.blogspot.com/. Use at your own risk."

The rules are written for those who have a Master/female-slave dynamic in their relationship. They have been converted for similar dynamics. You'll find those online. The key thing to keep in mind is that the rules are meant to create a mindset. It's not about memorizing them. It's more about understanding what is necessary in your relationship to craft it such that is speaks to you both.

As you go through these rules think about what they mean to you, whether or not you want to modify them to fit you or if you wish to decide not to use it. The following will help to note for each rule:

• Will do
• Want to do
• Won't do, dealbreaker, would end the relationship
• Find questionable, would need to modify this or not use
• Will do without question

Some of these rules will hit your core. Many of them will make you feel as if you've come home. Some of them will be a challenge. Others will be down right 'no way, you're nuts'.

When you finish going through them then it's time to discuss them with your partner and decide what to use for your relationship.

Here are the rules: 

1. i will serve, obey and please my Master.

2. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master, hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He percieves of my potential - He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

3. i worship my Master's abilities and focus to keep me in my 'place' to serve His needs.

4. i worship every inch of my Master's body.

5. The power of my Master fills me with awe. The sheer thought of Him or to hear His voice gives me strength and confidence to serve Him to the best of my abilities regardless of the circumstances going on in my life and His.

6. To receive pleasure i must not only earn it, but accept Master's permission when it is granted to me. Pleasure is a gift and i must not ever abuse it in any way for it can be taken from me at any time.

7. i worship my Master's whip whether it is used for His pleasure upon my flesh or to punish me for my behavior.

8. i trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health.

9. i am nothing more than an object of Master's choosing to use for His needs. 

10. i will not act to satisfy my needs without Master's permission.

11. my body and my mind are the property of my Master.

12. i must always give thanks to my Master for whatever He gives to me and do so in the manner i was taught by Him.

13. i must be specific and very explicit in my speech.

14. i will not hesitate to respond to my Master. 

15. i will thank my Master for the discipline and punishments i receive, specifying what i received and the reason as to why i was given them.

16. i have no will of my own accept to behave in the manner which Master has taught me, according to the rules He expects me to follow, seeking to be found pleasing by him in all i do, to listen when He teaches me, or to report to Him of my progress in serving Him and when given His guidance to do better.

17. i am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at anytime, in any place, under any circumstances, regardless of who may be present. For the opportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit. i trust my Master will keep me safe, protecting His reputation and mine in the presence of others, as He examines my ability to present myself to Him and to others in a subtle manner when required to protect our lifestyle from those who may not understand, nor support, as long as our behavior is not in anyway misrepresented nor misinterpreted by those who may be afar. i am to set, once again, a good example, ready to explain my position to others when required to do so. my lifestyle is a part of a growing culture for which i must never forget that i am an integral part.

18. All my choices shall be based upon whether or not they will please my Master.

19. When i am not in the presence of my Master and i have choices to make - i will perform them to the best of my abilities and within the boundaries and guidance He has allowed me.

20. i shall wear the collar my Master gives me with pride for it signifies His ownership of me and

my devotion to Him.

21. i shall wear the chains my Master gives me as a symbol of my position in life - that of bondage to Him. i shall wear them, as required, around my neck, my wrists, my ankles or around my waist.

22. When i am ready - i shall wear His rings to signify my submission to Him - one pierced through each nipple of my breasts and one through each labia of my pussy.

23. my mouth shall only be referred to as a cunt for it will often be used as if it were a pussy.

24. my sex shall only be referred to as a pussy.

25. When the cock of my Master is put into my cunt and i am directed to suck it - i will do so vigorously as long as i am required to do so. my hands shall be placed on the tops of my thighs, behind my neck or held at the base of my back so that during the sucking i can use my whole body to display my hunger to my Master.

26. my Master's cum must never go to waste - i will swallow all of it when Master cums into my cunt (and be punished should I spill any of it from my lips), licking it up if Master cums into my hands or into a plate i hold in front of Him to receive it, or onto the food He gives me which He may require of me to hold just under His cock as He ejaculates over it. i will clean His cock thoroughly squeezing out every last drop. In rare and privileged cases i may wear my Master's cum on my body, sometimes after massaging it into my skin. Cum is a gift from my Master and it is an honor to receive it. The eating of my Master's cum will be counted as one of my meals for that day.

27. i worship my Master's cock, its head and its shaft, especially when it is hard or when i am given the opportunity to make it hard for Him.

28. i will worship my Master's ass only after a thorough washing of it. i shall do so hungrily, being sure to lick between the cheeks for as long as Master requires me to do so. i will use my hands to spread my Master's cheeks apart.

29. i will never look into the eyes of my Master without his permission. To do so would be inappropriate of my position, and doing so could be interpreted by Him that i am seeking His attention or expecting Him to act - when such things are up to Him and to Him alone.

30. my head must be bowed down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i honor the position of my Master and it is important that i am not distracted in my submission to Him.

31. my eyes must be cast down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i am to focus on my behavior, waiting to act appropriately and without hesitation when directed to do so by Him.

32. i must always wear revealing and sexy clothing of good taste around my Master unless given permission to do so otherwise. The clothing i wear will allow easy access to my pussy, ass and breasts. The clothing will emphasize and often exaggerate my assets. i will wear such clothing in any kind of weather. How i present my body to Him or in front of others is more important than my discomfort and insecurities.

33. When others show an interest in what i am wearing i must ask them if they would like to see more and then gladly show them what they would like to see - but only after i have received permission from my Master - for i trust my Master's judgement that such a display is not only reasonable but is safe to do.

34. i must remove all of my clothing in the way i have been taught when Master commands of me to do so - regardless of who may be present and despite where it is i am - i trust my Master.

35. When i remove clothing from my body it must be folded neatly and placed in a small pile in front of me just ahead of my feet or my knees if i should be required to be in my kneeling position after unclothing myself.

36. my basic attire in the presence of my Master shall consist of a collar and my highest heels. The rings of my submission, if i have been pierced, must also be attached to my body, as should the chains He has given or allowed me to wear.

37. my legs, underarms and pussy must be kept completely shaved smooth and clean so that nothing of me is hidden from view.

38. Unless otherwise given permission - my hair must be kept up in a manner that is ravishing so that my shoulders and the nape of my neck are fully exposed - especially when i am naked. It is important to Master that i appear not just attractive, but alluring and desirable.

39. Whenever i need to pick something up or receive something from someone else i must do so wherever possible by going into a kneeling position to show that i am honored to do so. i will perform this motion according to how Master has taught me.

40. my pussy and ass must be thoroughly washed and of a good aroma at all times, if even perfumed, but especially before serving my Master.

41. my "place" is on my knees before my Master, for it is a privilege and honor to be His slave.

42. When in the presence of my Master, but not in use, i will go to the place He has selected until i am needed by Him.

43. my greatest felt satisfaction is realized when i know i have pleased my Master.

44. There can be no greater pain or suffering i can feel then when Master is not pleased with me. Naturally i will feel depressed, saddened, empty, and lost. i can only hope He will show His mercy upon me and provide to me the guidance i will need to be put back on track so that i will be forgiven and once again be allowed His eyes upon my flesh, His touch upon my soul, and His warmth and love upon my heart.

45. my submission is a natural inborn feeling, and at times a surging and powerful force inside me that only a respectable and knowledgeable Master can recognize, control and manage, for a He understands how my nature influences my behavior and how temptations to act outside of its drive can easily lead me astray and away from my primary focus: to please and to be found pleasing. He, too, manages and controls His Own natural state, sharing with me through a power exchange between us, bonding me tightly to Him, His needs with mine. my submission to such a Master allows for me to feel more aware and alive inside and out, bringing me to a feeling i cherish: ' at home '.

46. i fear no other power for my Master is always with me.

47. i will not hesitate in my obedience to my Master.

48. Whenever Master speaks, even when i am speaking, i am to immediately become silent so i may be able to listen intensely to what He has to say. i must never interrupt Him unless He has shown me how to communicate with Him, if i need to. i must ask first for His permission to speak, specifying to whom i would like to speak to, and whether or not i may be allowed to speak freely - then and only then, if granted, may i say anything more than asking first to speak.

49. The opportunity to please my Master is very important to me and i will take every chance to seek out such opportunities to do so to the best of my abilities and in accordance to how i have been taught or allowed to do so.

50. i choose willingly to be treated as my Master's property - as long as such treatment is safe and legal.

51. When Master feels i am ready and our relationship has progressed to a lifelong commitment, i shall be specially prepared to receive His unique and permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, in a place of His choosing, whether it be a piercing, a tattoo or a branding. Thereafter, i shall become His property and slave in the most strict sense - completely His for as long as the relationship continues to be managed and controlled in the manner in which is beneficial to each of us and in accordance with our mutually shared natures.

52. i am my Master's greatest treasure.

53. i will learn all the positions my Master wants to teach me to the best of my abilities and will be prepared to take such positions when required and to display myself in a manner through them that He, and others who may be present, will find most pleasing.

54. i must never reach orgasm without explicit permission from my Master. Failure to receive properly asked for permission and i will endure the punishment Master will put upon me without my safeword. Such pleasure must be seen as a privilege so that i do not take advantage of it.

55. The safeword given to me by my Master can be spoken at any time - even when i have been told to be silent. If i am not able to verbalize it - i trust my Master will show me how i can express it. Safewords are for my protection as well as His. i must be careful not to take more than i can handle, as He will need to know when to stop from getting carried away with His own passions - so that i may be prepared over time to endure more for Him.

56. my safeword, verbal or otherwise, cannot be used when i am being punished. i must remember that punishment could never be very effective if i were able to control it - i must take it in full measure - so that i will focus on the correction of my behavior for the long term, for unlike discipline, punishment is not what i will want again. i should know better. However, safewords can be used when i am being disciplined - Master will let me know which is which when the time has come that such treatment is necessary to correct my behavior.

57. i must confess to my Master when i have been naughty so that He may decide if such violations require me to be disciplined or to be punished. i must accept whatever decisions He makes by thanking Him for His choice - if He allows it before or shortly thereafter, specifying as to why i will be or have been disciplined or punished. i must focus upon how sorry i am for not behaving in the way in which i have been taught - for i have brought defilement upon myself and to Him an unacceptable act which is displeasing to Him.

58. i realize Master may own more than one slave, if He so chooses, and that i, unless allowed by Him, may never be able to have another Master other than Him, except by His choosing to further my training. i trust Master will take whatever precautions are necessary to keep the slaves He chooses to own sexually healthy and to provide whatever measures are necessary to protect us from the eruptions and ravages of any jealousy which may try to corrupt the relationships our Master has allowed between each of us - including the one we each have with Him.

59. i must never be concerned when i feel too much of my flesh is showing, in private or in the general public - however, i can ask my Master for permission as to how to handle my discomfort.

60. i am a female slave - of worth and value to any Master who would find me useful. my role has been clearly brought into definition through my ability to recognize and to act accordingly with my true nature, enhanced through the teachings of my Master, and through the continued practice of my primary focus, and my search for every opportunity to do so.

61. my Master will decide what my sexual orientation shall be. i will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. i know my performance will be measured and corrected as He sees fit should i be required to attend to, provide myself to, perform with, or upon another female slave.

62. i must tell my Master if i have had an orgasm without His permission so that i can be properly punished for my disobedience and disrespect.

63. Pain and pleasure shall be with me always - in my thoughts and my fantasies - for the contrast strengthens me to behave in the manner my Master expects of me. Such thoughts and fantasies are tainted with the memories i have from the last time i was in the presence of my Master. He is with me always.

64. my limits do not have to be respected - i trust my Master to take me past them when He expects that i am ready - for each side of the wall of my limitations is both pleasurable and a challenge - one side more intense than the other. My only hope in such transferences is that Master will be able to take me there again and again as my relationship to Him progresses through time, that He too will need it as much as i will, and that He will not be afraid to increase the intensity while we are there.

65. i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved slave.

66. i will endure whatever discipline or punishment my Master gives me so i can become a better slave for Him.

67. i will work on building up my tolerances to the level my Master needs me to have, being careful not to push myself further or faster than i am ready to endure for Him, so that i may be able to expand my limitations and increase my value to Him.

68. Through discipline and punishment i shall learn to behave.

69. In bondage i am made free.

70. i will never touch my breasts, nipples, pussy or clit with my hands or sex toys in any manner where i could experience sexual or sensual pleasure without permission from my Master including washing them, shaving my pussy, adjusting my breasts as i fit them into clothing, or in attaching my rings.

71. Only through submission can i find my true self.

72. my life is empty without a Master to please - that lost feeling inside can be real and it can grow. i may be able to step away from the hunger of my nature, but not for long, for soon it could effect every part of my life. It is important that i seek a Master to please - but if i cannot find one or that i shall not be found, i am not totally lost for i must always remember: i will survive - for it is my nature to do so. my drive to please can be adapted towards the needs of others even though they may not be as satisfying as the one i would have towards a Master. i must keep in the back of mind that there is a Master who is looking too and that i need to be patient by redirecting my needs in other ways where i can provide pleasure to others.

73. i shall never think of myself as a weak person for it takes a strong female to commit to the drive inside me, to serve, to obey and to please a Master. i too have responsibilities and as natural as they may seem to me it is important that i use all of my faculties including my creative spirit to submit to a Master in a unique fashion personal to my relationship with Him. By doing so i hope to provide a good example to those females around me who may still be learning so they too are not led astray from their primary focus, that they are as true to their nature as i strive to continue to be to mine. i must remember that how i well i behave enlightens and empowers me to become even closer to who i am - a devoted slave, of good rapport to a Master who truly understands my needs in relationship to His own.

74. i will give all that i am to my Master in order to become free.

75. i must never show disrespect towards my Master in any way - no matter where i am - in his presence or not.

76. Crying and the shedding of tears at any time is good and expected for it softens my will and bonds me closer to my Master.

77. Only in complete submission to my Master shall i realize the depth of the love i have for Him.

78. The needs of my Master must always come first before mine own for they offer an opportunity to please Him.

79. i must be attentive to the needs of my Master and always be ready to respond to them to the best of my abilities and in the unique ways in which i have chosen and have developed for Him.

80. i am allowed to suggest ways to further my training or use of me, verbally or through my journal, as long as i address my Master properly first.

81. i must always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever my Master does with me. The expressions of my emotions and my physical responses are important to Him. i must never hold back any part of their display, regardless of how intense they may be, unless restricted to do so.

82. i am a sexual and sensual being.

83. i must always remember how pleased my Master is when others delight in my sexiness as a result of my ability to show off my assets.

84. my behavior must always display a sexual content however subtle.

85. The only clothing i will buy and wear will be those items which my Master would find pleasing to Him: fitting to my figure and its assets, of good quality, of reasonable cost, and appropriate in His eyes and taste for the occasions i am allowed to attend with or without Him. i may ask if i may choose what to wear so i may be able take an opportunity to surprise Him to win His favor.

86. i may, at times, offer various parts of my body to my Master in hopes He will take pleasure in using them in whatever ways He wishes. my only hope will be that my offering will please Him. If not, i want Him to punish me.

87. It is important for me to eat plenty of carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins in the foods and fluids i am permitted to choose to nourish my body and mind, and to exercise my body regularly, as permitted by my Master, to increase my physical strength, to keep my limbs as flexible as possible, and to maintain or improve my figure so i may be able to endure my Master's use of me however intense and for however long a period is required by Him. i want to be of a healthy and sound mind and body, free as possible of any personal limitations, when pleasing my Master.

88. If i am required to be my Master's toilet, into or onto which He chooses to release the watery juices of His cock, i shall position myself to receive His personal waters by kneeling for Him, tilting my head back, opening my cunt wide, and closing my eyes so that He will delight in the display and offering of my body and of one of my orifices for Him choose upon which one to use. i shall remain still as He releases Himself, swallowing what i can of the waters He allows me. i shall play with myself during the release, as is instructed by Him, so that i am permitted to sexualize the experience as much as possible for His pleasure, thanking Him afterwards for allowing me the opportunity to honor Him in this most private way.

89. i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission - my pussy must be available for His use at all times. Should i be allowed to use a pad or tampon - it must be removed in His presence should He require my vagina to be emptied - regardless of where i am and who may be present. The use of a pad or tampon is a privilege that can be taken away from me at any time. If so, i can only hope i will be allowed to bleed for His pleasure and to feel my blood trickling down my legs or to strain to hear it drip onto the floor or onto another female slave he has selected to punish with my blood.

90. If Master has chosen my sexual orientation to that of being bisexual, and He requires of me to receive the watery juices or blood of a chosen female slave's pussy, i am to position myself, as i would for Master, to receive upon my flesh or into my cunt the slave's juices, and if permitted to do so, either through His command or after receiving permission from Him to display for Him my hunger, i will cup my cunt tightly to the slave's pussy to feed from her, licking and sucking, if allowed to do so, as much as I can get from her remaining tightly cupped to her until Master allows me to release myself from her. Thereafter, i am to be thankful for what i have received and for the privilege He allowed me. Such a feeding will be counted as one of my meals for the day.

91. If it is possible to practice my basic attire in my household i will do so. i will remove my clothing immediately after entering my household putting my collar on first, then my rings and chains (if i have them), and my highest heels.

92. i will always sleep nude - kneeling first before i enter my bed and kneeling first as soon as i get out of my bed - for it is a great privilege to have a bed to sleep on.

93. i must never tighten my body when it is being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, strapped, spanked, bullwhipped, signal whipped, or anally or vaginally pumped. my Master likes it when my flesh jiggles and He knows that when i tighten my body it hurts more and inhibits my ability to display my expressions and emotions.

94. i am proud to wear upon my body the marks given to me by my Master. i know that my Master will never mark me permanently - other than the mark of His ownership He will give me at the proper time, but i will gladly suffer for Him so he can mark me with the stripes he wishes to decorate my body with for His viewing pleasure.

95. i will always listen with a strong interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. i want to learn all that i can from Him so i can understand more about Him, about me, about the bdsm scene and community, and those involved in bdsm relationships - so i may be able to better understand the world i am apart of and be able to communicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it.

96. When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when i have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master's house - only His whip shall be used to dry me.

97. When i walk, run, sit, stand, kneel, reach out, speak, or listen - i will do so in a sexual manner, however subtle, and with confidence and pride hoping other females around me will feel my projection upon them, that my performance is found admirable, that they would seek to emulate me without any of their insecurities or self-conscious thoughts holding them back. I want to set the best example of proper female behavior - especially if Master or someone He has chosen is nearby to examine and monitor it. However, my goal must be to behave as naturally and freely as is possible as if without any effort on my part.

98. When standing still i shall do so with my feet and legs together, my hands held behind my back and my head bowed down. i will remain silent in the way Master has taught me.

99. If required: the plug Master has provided me must be inserted deeply into my pussy before arriving at my Master's house. Failure to do so and i shall feel the punishment He will give upon my pussy as i keep the lips of it pulled apart - for the plug was intended to provide me pleasure.

100. i hope Master will choose to use my tongue as His towel after His shower so i may be able to worship His body.

101. Until Master has chosen it is time for me to wear a more permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, i shall proudly wear His temporary mark of ownership upon me wherever He chooses to place it.

102. When sitting i shall sit up straight with my legs together and my palms down on the top of my thighs.

103. i will not speak to others without my Master's permission except to say to them that they will have to speak to my Master first. This is especially important at play parties.

104. i shall learn to the endure the whippings Master gives me by using the technique of saying ' YES ' through each of His strike brought down upon my flesh.

105. i shall gladly make my body available to my Master to be used as furniture: my body positioned to decorate a room or a garden, a footstool to rest his weary feet and legs upon, my backside as a His table to eat off of, the cleavage of my breasts to hold his wine glass, my palms to be used to hold a plate of His food, or my hands to hold a book open for Him to read or a lamp to for Him to see.

106. Privacy is a privilege - even to have it when i need to use the bathroom. i must ask for it and accept my Master's decision even when i am denied of it.

107. As a helper slave i shall assist my Master in the setting of a scene or in the training and use of other female slaves.

108. As a preparer slave i shall ready other female slaves for my Masters use, harden His cock for Him, or harden the cocks of others He allows me to harden.

109. As a cleaner slave i shall use my tongue to clean the cum of my Master from the body of a female slave He has put it upon, my cunt to suck for it from a female slave's pussy my Master has used for His pleasure, or to clean the cocks i am allowed to clean that have been pulled out of the pussies of other slaves. For as a cleaner slave i am to lick up what semen i can find.

110. As a provider slave i shall offer parts of my body to those selected by my Master for their pleasure. i will also offer myself to those who wish to use me for a demonstration or to experiment on.

111. As a domestic slave i shall perform chores about my Master's house, and those of others He allows, acting in a sexual and enticing manner in all that i do.

112. As a sex slave i shall incorporate a sexual attitude and hunger in everything i do, being eager to sexually perform at the best of my abilities for my Master and for those whom He allows to use me. my hunger must be such that i would feel as if i could never be satiated until Master allows me to be.

113. The beginning and the ending of a day shall always be with a full body whipping and a cockfeeding to remind me of my place or to provide myself to my Master for His first and last use.

114. When i have been given permission to play with myself i shall do so in the following manner: working my clit almost to an orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, then working it again to almost at orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, and then finally working it again to a full orgasm. Then and only then shall i enjoy an orgasm on my own. Should i cum before the third tier - i will tell my Master so i may be punished. i will play with myself in this manner even in His presence.

115. Should Master ever wish to cage me for display, i will gladly crawl into it and proudly position myself in it in ways He finds pleasing, in solitude and quiet, so that if He chooses, others may delight in what they see without any interruption from me, seeing that i am well-behaved and humbled that i am Master's property and slave. i can only hope that Master would never put me into a cage to confine me for my misbehavior, that i could never come that close to displease Him so much that i would have to suffer such humiliation, begging with my tears and my cries for his forgiveness, for i want the cage to be my safe haven from my fears, a place i can crawl into of my own free will, locked into it because Master granted my request to be locked in it.

116. i am free to leave my Master at any time without the fear of permanently losing Him as my Master.

117. At the beginning of my relationship with my Master i shall present to Him three names for Him to decide upon as to which one will be my slave name. i know that He does not have to choose any of them and that He can choose one of His own for me to be known by. Thereafter, when someone asks who i am i can respond by introducing myself in the following manner: " i am slave [slavename], property of Master John."

118. i will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. i will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where i feel uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction i should take, how i should behave, or how i can behave in a manner that is different than how i have been behaving in the past.

119. i want to suffer for my Master in ways that please Him and that are safe for me to do so.

120. i will not be passive in serving my Master. i will aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.

121. If i am sent to another Master to serve - i will serve that Master well, as if He were my Master, for i want my Master to receive a good report after i have been returned to Him.

122. Should Master wish for my breasts to be suckled by a female slave of His choice or that legal and safe drugs be used to induce the production of milk in my breasts, i will do my best to keep my milk up so that He and others may feed from me, that my breasts will be full, tight and extra sensitive as much as possible, for however long Master wants my breasts to produce milk for Him. Likewise, i will assist in the inducement of milk production from the breasts of any female slave Master has chosen for me.

123. i will not date others or form a relationship with others without permission and approval from my Master. If i should have sex with others i will have it safely and will always tell my Master in detail what i have done so that no part of me is a secret and that i am laid bare for his inspection and approval.

124. The money i earn, should i be allowed a career, or put to work, where i am paid for my responsibilities, is mine to keep. However, i must ask my Master how i should spend or save it. i may present ways to Him for His approval. i will accept the responsibilities He gives me in the handling of my finances. It is important to my Master that i learn to handle money wisely so, if needed, i can reach my goals or be ready for any emergency where finances may be required for resolution.

125. If i am wearing a dress or skirt and no panties and i am going to sit down - i must sit on my bare skin - and do so gracefully whether i am in private or in public. If i feel that i am not as clean as i should be, i will tell my Master, so that He can decide what should be done.

126. When i wear nylons i will wear them only with garters and high heels. i will never wear panty hose - such items of clothing shall be thrown out.

127. When i am in the presence of my Master and i am free to move about i will do so in seductive and enticing ways.

128. i will give to Master my body, mind and spirit, in faith of His knowledge of the skills, safety and first aid measures necessary to put me through painfully ecstatic and euphoric edgeplay: the use of needles and pins to pierce my flesh; the use of scoring tools to make drawings upon my body or to selectively and carefully cut my skin to make me bleed with little or no scarring; aromatherapy where He will throw me into higher states of consciousness with the scents of oils and incense; blood and breath control to bring me to the edge of my survival to feel the battle for my self-preservation; guns and knifeplay to intensify my awareness of my existence racing parallel with my threatened drive to live; and other such uses. Through these activities i shall learn to ride on the top edge of my fears and the bottom edge of my perception of utter terror - for it is there i shall come to know my greatest fear of all: that I will want to go there again and again.

The End.

105 Things to Teach the Submissive Girl

1. Sit
2. Stand
3. Lie down
4. Crawl
5. Lick your shoes
6. Lick your boots
7. Lick your bare feet
8. Stand for her ass whipping
9. Spanking positions
10. Hogtie
11. Be in the corner
12. The kneeling place
13. Undressing for her Master
14. Undressing her Master
15. Wrist placement
16. Collars
17. Chain and leash
18. Hobbling
19. Speech
20. Cock sucking
21. Cock feeding
22. Body worship
23. Cold rinse showering
24. Sleeping positions
25. Kitchen bondage and duties
26. Hot wax and bondage
27. Shower licking
28. Public dress
29. Safe exposure in public
30. Obedience
31. Etiquette
32. Rules orientation
33. Intro session
34. After shower whipping
35. Pleasure and discipline spankings
36. Pleasure and discipline whippings
37. Counting games for impact play
38. Equipment overview
39. Pussy shaving
40. Scene play overview
41. Bad student scene
42. Hair grabs
43. Nipple tortures
44. Pussy tortures
45. Clamps and clothespins
46. Pointy sticks
47. Fetching
48. Stick and rod bondage
49. Contracts
50. Ass worship
51. Serving food and drink
52. Conduct around guests
53. Sexual cleaning
54. Sexual preparing
55. Music whippings
56. Japanese bondage
57. Playing with self at home or in front of someone
58. Water sprinkle sensation
59. Rule testing
60. Reading of the rules at home or for Master
61. Ownership
62. Eye contact
63. Threshold testing
64. Safewords
65. What to do when you go to the doctors
66. “Yes” training
67. What do you see
68. Who and what you are
69. Writing assignments:  story, fears, scenes to do, what you are learning, in bondage I feel, conflicts, Dear Master, being who I am I feel…., playmate story
70. Proper writing
71. Writing in bondage
72. Breast bondage
73. Using furniture….stool, cocktail table, table, bed, desk, sofa, chair, lounge chair, etc.
74. Rope art
75. Self bondage
76. Shopping at the store for toys
77. Party attendance
78. How to eat food
79. Info card on submissive
80. Inspection of submissive
81. Offering of body parts
82. Movies to rent
83. Wearing Master’s initials on her body
84. Pussy offering
85. OTK spanking
86. Caning
87. Marks
88. Wall or porch spanking
89. Thumbing sex
90. Didlo work
91. Anal goosing
92. Vaginal goosing
93. Dancing
94. Behavior at exotic dance clubs
95. Bath tub cleaning while in bondage
96. Proper outfitting to greet Master at the door
97. Under clothing bondage
98. Erotic dress to pick up pizza
99. Nude walk
100. Crying
101. Cropping
102. Zippers (clothespins attached to body on a rope through them to then pull off all at once)
103. Pussy and butt plugs
104. Car bondage
105. Staying nude as long as possible while getting ready for work before dressing

What You Need to Have a Poly Relationship

Yes...poly takes time, orchestration, adjustments, tons of open and honest communication...tho not too much different than two person intimate relationships or in non-intimate friendships….if we are honest about it, if we look more closely at what is driving those relationships and what holds them together. And we have to unlearn jealousy, issues with body image, being right, scoring and competition, blame, and insecurity if we want them to survive and do so in a healthy manner beneficial to each person in the relationship...and as a whole (everybody part of it as a kind of unit).

For most relationships ...they seem to happen ‘naturally’ and ‘spontaneously’ and last as long as there are not major or blown out of proportion conflicts where at those times each person starts to look more closely to what is happening in the relationship as part of the effort to hope to resolve it.

The most important keys to a healthy and successful long term poly relationship setup include:

1. Honesty...no underlying motives, no lies, no fibbing, but open to talk about just about anything within the boundaries pertaining to agreements of what can be shared.

2. Open Communication....not waiting to communicate....not being afraid to talk about issues or just stuff….and talking about issues as they arise and not when they have been boiling over time where they have already started to reshape the quality of the relationships. It means communicating about who one is seeing, what each is doing, how long to be gone, when the next time frame to spend together will happen, and can include, if agreed and comfortable with such information, what each did with another. Communication with orchestration...not just haphazardly expecting some sort of automatic acceptance about what is going on, playing ‘this is not my place’ or ‘I can’t ask about that’ games. Poly demands that nothing is assumed, but rather that each person has a pretty clear idea of what's going on...thoughts, feelings, needs, etc of each person. It means talking to each other….much in the same manner you might with all your friends.

3. Boundaries...knowing within what boundaries this can all work....what sex with and without safety is allowed (that idea of who you can be fluid with and how exclusive the group is to maximize safety), time frame needs so each have time to be with another that is not rushed....for example, knowing Phil will be with Mary this weekend and I have with him Monday and Tuesday, what is open for discussion, quality, depth, space where time is spent, what is allowed to occur in spaces, and setting boundaries on issues like jealousy (for me...I tell my partners that I don't and that they won't entertain jealousy, but focus who they are without a focus on comparisons being made or pitfalls flooding their minds while they are with another).

I look at poly this way....I have non-sexual friends each of whom get a version of whatever we discuss and with whom, individually or together, I will spend time with often in planned intervals of time. There's never the reaction like 'So John....is there something going on.....because last weekend you spent the whole weekend with Jill. I thought I was your best friend and that we would be doing more time together. So what's up....am I not your best friend anymore?' - which is sort of similar to what does happen a lot between couples... "So honey...you've been spending a lot of time with Dave...am I not enough for you?" You see that none of your friends are complaining about who is or isn't enough, nor likely to be competing against each other...and that's how it should work with closer and sexual relationships. But it usually doesn't unless it's designed in with a clear set of boundaries and communication...along with honesty.

The nutshell is....you love what you have with your primary partner and each of you wants more of that sort of relationship, with a few other things you don't have going on, that's long term while at the same time allowing you to keep what you’ve both created for the both of you that you both enjoy.

When I had four running relationships along side of a long term mono/poly relationship which all started because of mutual attraction and that we all had something in common: a bdsm focus....each knew the names of the others, they all coordinated time with me inline with their time needs to spend with the others in their own lives, we drew boundaries of the details to share between each other's other relationships, we took up problems as they rose, we made adjustments. But it also worked because each person had a need to be with another for a different reason and set of needs than what others wanted. Each had tight time frame needs that made it all work and personal responsibilities that could be worked around. I had developed each relationship keeping fit in mind for all of us. We didn't share the same space, but rather got together in other spaces. One was a salesperson and gone a lot, one was a single parent with demanding responsibilities of being so, another was married and had just had a baby, and another was a teacher. Having all those relationships...I was also in a relationship with a gal who was monogamous to me that was approaching 5 years. We didn't hold secrets or grudges. We limited the insecurities and questions to maintain the quality of the poly arrangement. We worked on making this happen. Our next step was living in the same house...but that fell through as everyone's schedules were impacted by work and new responsibilities, but we all did want that. For some...there was some fear, but we discussed it and fought through it. Eventually we split off and went our own ways. The poly thing worked for as long as it could, but each person’s own life was being further impacted by issues not related to the poly thing, but had been taking it’s toll upon the arrangement. That was ok. Sometimes the path of life changes and you just have to move on. I remain poly to this day and have a mono/poly long term relationship once again. 

Tim Ferris talks about setting out to "design your life" in his book "4-Hour Work Week". He doesn’t talk about poly relationships, but certain points in his book can be converted to better understanding what needs to be in place for poly relationships to work well. 

Similar to 'working' on being a couple....poly is that integration of being more acute about the dynamics of such a relationship. It means seeking to be informed and able to communicate what is observed during the design of a poly relationship. It means making the effort to manage it and making the necessary adjustments to assure the health and quality of the arrangement....the best matches possible for each person's needs.

If I were to use the "DEAL" format from Tim Ferris's book it might go like this:

1. Define what you want, set rules and boundaries such that if another person looked at what you were attempting to create, what you have achieved...they could then see why and how it is working as a unit.

2. Eliminate what isn't 'really' important....deal only with the stronger specifics of what is needed for this poly thing to work for everyone such as determining the quality of time intervals spent with others. Time is a bit of a killer...because abandonment thoughts and feelings can grow like wildfire if left wandering. Determine what is critical and not so critical, what might be alarming and what is not to be worried about.

3. Automation....you don't have to discuss everything nor get all that you need from all the other partners....some decisions will be made privately with only those whom such decisions apply to. While you've designed and re-designed the relationships...there are going to be parts of that design that will only apply to certain people. In effect....the only time you have to outsource your problems and issues to others is when you have run out of objectivity because your involvement is clouding your mind a bit. The poly relationship is a bunch of boxes...some have the names of one person on them, others have contents in the box that only apply between two people, and still others have contents that apply to all the names on the box.

4. Liberation happens once the designed-in parts works like a machine....the bonds are clearly defined, what's given is understood, what isn't shareable is known, the limitations/boundaries are well known and infused as if connected together to make up a string, and the relationships are running a course that feels natural and spontaneous. At this point the relationships are mobile such that you don't have to think much of what is going on between them nor think about who to include in decisions....they are an integrated whole. Each has become part of the design such that if one part breaks...the rest of it will come to aid, if that's the decision, and work to resolve the issues to repair the relationships.

I remember the one rule of a married couple (who had kids and were raising a family together) where both were poly, have long standing relationships with others and of which much of the partnering had intense sets of responsibilities each in their own lives, some of where each had to attend to their established family activities and links with their extended families unrelated to their poly arrangements. The rule they both agreed on that held their own relationship together and best fit those they were poly with was this one item they found worked for them:  Be home by midnight.

In long term poly there is that idea of how to help each other and in what areas...things like health needs, paying the bills, family responsibilities, retirement issues, working around work, vacation decisions, holidays, chores, dreams, futures, friends, projects, etc. These are all the components that also exist for those in two person relationships. To what level of responsibility are you willing to get yourself into with each person you are involved with? That needs to be determined as part of the design of the whole poly integration.

A book I recommend is "The Ethical Slut: A guide to infinite sexual possibilities" by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. Some points from book include:

• Don’t deprive others, ask what they need or if they would like this or not. 
• Arrange what you do with another, if in the same space as the others, in the manner that those being around find comfortable of what it is you are doing with the person you are spending time with there 
• Know who gets along with which others. Be aware that when you leave one with another where maybe they don’t get along that well, but where they both know what they do love about the poly thing are for other good reasons, that they don’t feel too uncomfortable being around each other. Try to limit discomfort. Talk about it. Come up with where else they can be.
• Be reasonable....don't do things that you know drive another up the wall outside what you have designed. 
• Don't communicate more than what has been agreed upon. Stay within the boundaries set. 
• Adhere to your boundaries...don't go outside them since doing so can, for example, bust trust, start insecurities, and create questionable scenarios of what is unknown. 
• You don't have to like each other, but all of you should be able to reasonably get along without causing the kind of stress that leads to a break-off. This area is critical as to how well the 'glue' you’ve each determined is working that holds all of you in place. 
• If you've come to spend time with another partner after spending time with another....neither of you should expect an immediate switch over….so be aware of how tight the scheduling is, time needed to relax into the next meeting. 
• Limit anger, what was repeated again that you thought was or wasn't said with another. Be aware as best you can with what was discussed when and with who. Try to limit criss-crossing of information being shared. 
• Don't expect love to happen in each of the relations, but realize that for some love isn't the glue factor for them to be in the relationship and that that is ok. 
• Learn to adapt to each other's personality differences...this is why 'fit' is all important. It's hard to have the right fit...so be upfront with what each of you hope to achieve...realize different personalities might be more the sauce that makes for a better fit. 
• Encourage that everyone 'owns' the decisions they make and make as a group. 
• Try to unlearn jealousy, issues with body image, being right, scoring and competition, blame, insecurity ....all these can break up relationships or at least cut into the quality of the relationships. You want to work on what holds relationships together. Make that call-out when one of these rears its ugly head. Don’t wait. Determine the dynamics of each of these issues so you can best recognize them early on and see how they might be affecting the relationships. 
• Be ok with realizing that this particular poly thing isn’t working for you. Open to discuss leaving. Don't play the hurt game.
• Allow yourself to explore, to ask questions, to bring up subjects perhaps hard to explain 
• Try not to be so hard on yourself 
• Limit judgment unless you have a damn good reason that will better hold the relationship once resolved. Unwarranted judgments can lead to uninformed scenarios….the guessing of what might be going on. 
• Don't rush things, but take the time to develop relationships. Work on one issue at at time and as they come up. 
• Say something when you think what's going on is problematic....don't wait. 
• Don't be careless, reckless or insensitive in your relationships. 
• Don't just focus on oneself....you're designing a relationship with others that you want and need to work well.
• Work toward resolve....a 'yes', an understanding and the definitive 'no', but where the final decision or conclusion still still retains the ‘glue’ that keeps the poly thing working well for others. 
• Learn to be ok with seeing your partner with others. Learn to hold that what you have with a partner is special between the two of you....that what your partner holds with another is between them. 
• Recognize when it seems paths are widening between each other rather than coming together or staying on the same path ...and then say something about it. Poly changes....a partner leaves, another is added or one determines they need to be without an intimate partner for a bit, or that they are between partners. 
• Determine if you want a closed poly group or an inclusive one (adding or subtracting partners as you move forward). 

In my present relationship....penetrative and oral sex is reserved for my primary as are certain things only her and I like to do together. Know what those are in the relationships you put together. If the idea is agreeable to have and to share similar things with others....and that works...do it, but if not then accept that. Choreograph the design along the way with individual needs alongside the total relationship.

Most importantly….realize that what you share with another is a different sequence string of same or similar information you have shared with another. The dynamics are different enough from one person to the next and that your time with another is original because the connotations and histories and all that is shared is understood differently when with one partner or with another. 

A sight to check is Loving More. Goodreads is a great source for books on these matters. Take a listen to an episode of Polychat on sleeping with other partners....tho the video covers areas in a poly relationship that can be difficult to manage. 

And remember...as with any relationship...it’s a learning thing, a work-at-it thing. Take the time to explore and don’t forget to have a bit of fun in it all. You might be surprised to learn that for as much work as poly can be....you have the best of what multiple relationships offer that also hold the relationship you started with when you entered into a poly relationship.